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Going natural is not always an easy decision for Curlies. One of the biggest concerns is how you will be viewed during and after the transition from straight to curly hair. This is an especially anxiety producing consideration when you fear your beau may lose interest as a result of your natural hair. Is/was this you?
There are women that are downright obsessed with the idea their beau will not like them curly. As a result, so many women are discouraged, thinking that they will somehow be less beautiful or they will be unable to find love while rocking their natural hair. We all know someone so overwhelmed by the thought of losing their relationship over hair, they continue straightening their hair well after they’ve lost the desire to do so (come on ladies…choose you!)
Now, I’m not saying there is a guarantee your partner will like the new curly naturalista over someone with relaxed hair or a weave (especially if you met your beau wearing your hair straight and later changed it up). Haven’t we all heard a story or two of a beau that always has a negative word or comment about their partner’s curly hair? The truth is, not everyone will be down with the change. But, I’m here to tell you (from my own experience!) – the right person for YOU will LOVE YOU curly! It’s not about changing yourself to attract love into your life, it’s about loving yourself. He may have always preferred weaves and perms, but when he sees you walk in with your God-given confidence, rocking that curly hair in a way that he's never seen it before, he'll be swept off his feet. The right person for you may have a completely different idea of beauty, but he will see YOU and he will embrace it.
Once upon a time, I faithfully relaxed my hair and was not at all interested in wearing my natural curls (don’t judge me lol). But, I am reformed and now I’m all about rocking my curls!!
My [now] husband and I began dating shortly after my big chop. When we met, his ideal type was neither curly nor short haired, but when he saw me, I was confident in myself and in my look and he was in awe (seriously, those are his words). Ultimately, he was more attracted to me standing in my own natural beauty, with self-assurance and self-confidence, than a particular “type”.
That’s what it’s all about – being confident in who you are and showing up in your divine, original self. If you love yourself curly and confidently rock your curls, the love meant for you will simply follow your lead. So, if rocking your natural hair is something you are considering, go for it! Show up for yourself and show the world how magnificent you are, au naturale!
Leave comments below on how much your love life influenced or discouraged your decision to be natural?
I love that last line: SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF! I have been single for a minute and I do a lot of online dating lol. In the beginning I was worried that my natural hair would be a deterrent to a successful social life. But, what you said is absolutely right! Sure, there may be some men who “say” they are not attracted to natural hair and prefer weaves. But there are just as many who understand, emphasize, and embrace our journey. And when there is a lapse on my dating calendar, I take my dang self out!!! LOL.